Adapt Stubborn Children to Improve
Let’s know the tips to adapt stubborn (mulish) children to improve. It is said that parents are the first teacher of the child. The child’s most time passes along with his parents and in the childhood, whatever the child learns, he learns from his parents only. In this way, every parent wants that they give good care to their child and put a good ritual in them. Sometimes, when a child receives a complaint from the school and neighbours, people first raise their finger on the parents saying that the child’s parents have given the same rituals as the child is doing the same.
Although every parent gives good education to his child, but sometimes the child becomes very stubborn in nature and as soon as he is older, his temperament changes rapidly. If your child is mulish or you are seeing some different changes in his nature then know how to improve your child’s behaviour.
Be nice to behave
When the child does vomit-direct action, do not take away all your anger by knocking him or scolding him. At that time you may find it the most effective way to improve your child but it has a bad effect on the child. It is settled in his gentle mind that whenever he acts, he will be killed and he remains so stubborn. Therefore, be lovingly with your child.
Become a role model and be friendly
Take care of the child’s likes and dislikes. Take out some time to play with your child and try to gain some knowledge regarding the field of interest. This will keep the baby closer to you and whenever you insist on it, you can easily explain it.
Teach your child something new everyday. If you are very busy, then take time out for the child at the end of the week. Never let the child feel lonely. When you take care of him, the child will find himself close to you and if he/she learn something wrong then you can easily explain it. Surprise the child – Most children become more irritable due to some reason. Occasionally, due to lack of time with parents, they consider themselves to be more neglected in their home, due to which their behavior changes.
Try to appreciate for his/her good performance in the school. Sometime try to bring the things which they wants and try to take them out with you as for shopping, movie, park, dinner and walk etc. At every moment, let them realise that parents have eyesight on every activity. Always try not to miss the opportunity to compliment them.
Handling stubborn children is not an easy task, in which case if you do not find a solution quickly then even a small thing can become a big struggle every day. You must have learned a lot about how to control the behavior of a stubborn child, but every day is a new challenge. Disciplining a stubborn child may not be the best solution in all cases, finding an alternative solution to it may be more effective.
Psychology of stubborn children
If your child is very stubborn, first understand why he is so and what is the thing that is making him so stubborn. The determination of the child is a different matter and stubbornness is different. Determination is defined as ‘strong motive’ while being stubborn is ‘refusal to change thought, behavior and external pressure’. Persistence in children can be genetic or they can learn behaviour by observing others. This can be adapted to suit this behaviour in your child so that your child’s personality may be multifaceted in future.
Stubborn behaviour can occur at any age – Childhood, or adolescence and this behaviour can last until the age of an adult. It is important for you as a parent to handle your children in ways that do not put too much pressure on both of you and also help change his stubborn behaviour.
Way’s to Handle stubborn children
Keep the peaceful environment at home – Make sure that your home is a place where your child feels happy, comfortable and safe at all times. Be polite to everyone in the house, especially to your spouse because children learn by watching you. They imitate what they see, so it is necessary that you keep peace and do not use argumental and insulting words in front of the child.
Create and follow proper routine – Staying regular on a weekly routine with daily can improve your child’s behaviour as well as performance in school. Pay attention to the baby’s bedtime and it should be such that your child gets plenty of rest. Children between 3 and 12 years of age may have behavioral problems due to fatigue and lack of sleep.
Make your way of talking effective – If Stubborn children ask for something, it is difficult for them to hear ‘no’. So instead of being rude try to explain them with love. For example, if your child insists on listening to two stories at bedtime, give him the option to explain that he can hear a story today and a story he can hear tomorrow.
Set rules, penalties and rewards – Stubborn children need rules so set boundaries and clearly state your expectations in a family meeting. Ask your child its outcome as well as their perspective on each. Continuity is important, but there should be no rigidity at all. It is also important to be gentle and generous at times, especially when you are on vacation or on occasions when your child exhibits exemplary behavior. This shows them that following rules can be rewarded and its purpose is not harsh at all.
Assume practically before reacting – Try placing yourself at the child’s place Look at any problem from the child’s point of view and try to understand why he is behaving like this. If you have promised him that you will take him for a walk in the park but perhaps you have not done so due to bad weather, then you will have to try to explain to him why it is not possible to fulfill the promise. Your child will only see that you have broken the promise you made to him, but if you explain to him why you cannot go out and schedule another day to go out, then you can easily handle the situation.
Encourage positive behaviour – Set an example from your behaviour and demonstrate a positive attitude at all times. If you mostly use words like ‘no’, ‘can’t’, or ‘won’t’, your child is likely to do the same. Seeing the stubborn nature of your child from the point of view of improving his behavior rather than being negative and speaking randomly. You can play a game of questions to the child in which he can answer by saying yes or no to the answer. Formulate your questions in such a way that their answers are mostly ‘yes’. This gives the message that the child listened to you and accepted it.
Prioritise child a choice and value his selection – Asking the child what he wants to do can boost his stubbornness. Instead of doing this, you give him two options and give him the freedom to choose. With this, your child will feel his own right over his life and can take any decision he wants freely. If you want your child not to be confused then you limit your choices and ask him to choose only one of two or three options.
for example – If you want your child to clean his room himself, instead of asking him ‘where do you want to start?’, Ask your child to clean the bed or cupboard in the room first.
Make a good connection and bonding – Do not force the child to do what he does not want to do. By this the child can rebel against your words and he can insist on doing what he should not do. If you want your child to sit down doing his homework instead of watching TV, then try watching TV with the child for a while. This will bring a sense of friendship in relation to both of you and after a while you can ask him if he will do his homework now and you take a book near him and start reading or do some other work. He will start reading after seeing you.
Distract attention – There may be some situations in which you and your child do not agree with each other, for example a car seat. If the decision to go out does not align with your and your child’s wishes, distract them by telling them where you are going rather than how you are going. If this results in anger or resentment, then try to play the game in it too, by scheduling it or by involving other siblings as well.
Do not argue – Stubborn children are always ready for arguments so do not give them an opportunity. Always listen to your child comfortably and turn it into a conversation rather than an argument. When you show your child that you are ready to listen to his or her side, there is an increased chance that he / she will be ready to listen to you.