Siblings enmity and jealousy
While focusing about child enmity and jealousy, parents need to be concern about child’s emotions and feelings. It’s impossible to make child stop feeling emotions like jealousy and need to win. Knowing that there are times when you dislike someone, your love is realistic and healthy. It’s usually best to let children resolve themselves since most fighting is done to proud parents into doing some thing of course, there are times when you must interfere for safety’s sake or when you just can’t stand any more fighting.
- The hardest job to raise children ?
- Is this a big challenge for mothers ?
- How to take action in these cases ?
- What should mothers do to make them listen to, teach each other, to respect differences, understand boundaries, and resolve natural difficulties ? To deal with is jealousy between siblings. Even trying their best to show equal love for each other, there is always unmatched competition between them, especially when they are young. See some tips and suggestions on how to get around the situation of sibling controversy.
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Jealousy between siblings Psychology
According to psychoanalysts, a situation arises when a person feels lonely, has a fear of losing something he loves (such as business, the loss of power, the fear of being sidelined, etc.), he feels that among all. He was as popular as ever. In such a situation, when his own siblings start winning the game, he is unable to tolerate it and in his mind the feeling of jealousy that comes from childhood and comes in many ways. Sometimes by accusing each other or sometimes by quarreling, they get angry. An example of this is Praveen, brother of Pramod Mahajan. On the other hand, Rivalry has also been seen in the two daughters or two sons.
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What causes jealousy between siblings
Parents irritate a child by comparing between two children. The happiness of the second child comes first to the child because it is a unique experience for him. He also loves the new child, but when everyone is more focused on the other child, he starts feeling insecure. Then the first child starts to feel alone. He feels that his right has been taken away from him, such as his room, toys, mother’s lap, etc. Because of jealousy, he starts doing strange acts with another child. For example, to kill him in private, to intimidate, to spoil his work, not to let himself get ahead of him.
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In most cases it has been observed that there is less sense of sibling rivalry in a sibling relationship than two brothers or two sisters. Naturally, brothers and sisters have different personalities, their hobbies, desires and ways of working are different. This is why the comparison between the siblings is less, while the comparison between the two sisters is more. In the same way, comparing between two brothers, it is said that how good one is in education and the other does not have time to play. This kind of comparison done in childhood leads to a feeling of rivalry between brothers and sisters and many times there are distances.
As age progresses, jealousy grows in them. While siblings’ hobbies vary. They also have fewer fights over clothes, books and toys, so the relationship between them remains cordial. If parents fail to handle this childhood jealousy properly, then it has to suffer serious consequences later. You cannot separate thinking like jealousy in a child and a feeling of being superior to others. There are times when you feel bad about your loved one. Sometimes there is a quarrel among the siblings due to toys and sometimes due to some game, which not only worsens the home environment, but also increases the difficulties of parents. More love or support for one child or making all rules for the same child can lead to a rift between siblings. Battles between sibling are most frequent due to the different behavior of the parents.
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Parents intervene in sibling arguments
If there is a lot of quarrel or debate and children are unable to reach any conclusion then in this situation you should come in the middle. You should not favor one, but listen to both and know where the debate started. When both are calm, talk to them one by one and tell them what you want to say. Instead of justifying one child, ask both to find a solution.
Do not interrupt in a fight
When the battle has escalated, you should not interrupt. At the same time, you also have to avoid favoring any one during this time. Instead of justifying either one, try to calm both. Make some rules to increase love and mutual understanding between children
Let them to resolve
If the child comes to you when a quarrel, give him a chance to solve his problems on his own. By doing this, children will learn to solve their relationships and problems on their own and become self-reliant. At the same time, if the parents continue to reconcile each time, the children will not try to normalize anything by themselves.
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Childhood becomes very easy and fun when there are siblings. If there is a lot of love among the siblings, then the atmosphere of the house is also good and there is love in the family, but there is often a fight between the children over small things. It is very wrong to compare among your own children. If you also compare between your children or say one is better than the other, then stop doing so. Every child is different. Every child has different abilities and achievements, from education to sports. Instead of comparing it to sibling, let the child develop his skills.
Solving a quarrel between children is one thing, but as a parent, you have to build a foundation for children to love each other from a young age. If you teach them to give up for each other and take care of each other’s happiness and needs, the love between them will never decrease even if there is a fight. In any case, quarrel is the foundation of a siblings relationship, but it has to be laid by the parents in order to not dominate the relationship.
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Sibling conflict resolution strategies
- Suggest a new activity when your kids are squabbling a lot boredom often leads to quarrels.
- Try distractions when you see that an older child is getting frustrated with a young one. Say, “Quick, l need you! Please come help me. “
- Spray glass cleaner on the inside and outside of a stumbling glass door or a ground level window. Place your fighting children on opposite sides, and give each one a dry cloth. By the time the glass is dry, the kids will be laughing.
- End a verbal argument by having your kids sing their complaints to each other.
- Ask your kids ideas to solve the problem. Let them think of special ways they can accommodate each other. Even if their ideas don’t ultimately work, your kids will be trying to resolve their differences.
- Get out the camera and take a pretend (or actual) photo of your kids “fighting,” to diffuse the situation. Then take picture of them hugging. Let them mug for another photo, if they want to.
- Get up and leave the house, if you can, or at least consider the bathroom as a refuge. Like temper tantrums, fighting often stops when there’s no audience.
- Send each quarreling child to a different corner of the room, and have them sit facing each other. Tell them they must speak calmly and stay put until they give each other permission to leave. Negotiations usually lead to peace.
- Have quarreling children mention five nice qualities about each other. Mutual compliments often end the war.
- Remove the object of disagreement, or separate your children. Not being allowed to play together (or with the dispute toy) may motivate them to resolve their differences.
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Sibling hatred Syndrome
- Don’t label a child “selfish” or show disapproval over unwillingness to share. Make a point of sharing yourself, and make sure about your children observant and noticed the same.
- Make sure your children have right to their own things. It’s hard for them to share if they’re not secure and guilt free about ownership. Allow them not to share certain things, if they wish.
- Let one child cut the cake or divide the treat, and let the other child get first pick, if they are fighting about fairness.
- Tell your child who doesn’t want to share, “when you’re finished playing with the toy, your sister (or brother) may have it.” This lets your child know someone’s waiting, but eliminates the distress of giving up the toys.
- Set a timer to ring when it’s time to exchange toys
- Assign each child a special day or days (like Monday, Wednesday, and Friday) when the child can make certain decisions, select menus, be first at something and so on.
- Play the “stone game .”put a small stone in one hand, the child who picks the correct hand gets first choice.
- Avoid fights over similar objects such as pails , shovels, and balls by assigning a color to each child and buying those items in the assigned color.
The only way to tackle siblings enmity and jealousy is to have only one child a certain amount of jealousy and squabbling is normal between siblings.