Reaction to the sex affiance queries
Usually, children ask unsuspecting question and parents don’t understands about – how to revert and give reaction to the sex related queries answer their question. Mostly parents scold him/her or make them quiet. The confusion and curiosity of the children increases even when there is not a satisfying revert. Even today, people in our country do not talk openly about sex information to their children. Today is the time of technology, due to which it is not possible for smart gadgets to stay away from the hands of children for long. Children rush to the internet world and calm their curiosities. In such a situation, children do not get the right information about sex and they start seeing sex differently. Therefore, it should be tried that children should be given sex education at the right time and correct information. For this you should also take care of right methods for children.
Need and importance of sexual anatomy
Generally, well educated people are still stunned by talking or discussing an important topic, which is mostly considered confidential, so giving coupling education to children is far away and our reluctance on our children’s future. Have we ever thought about the effect it may have ? Isn’t not true that it is still easy for children to answer these questions today, but tomorrow it will be very difficult to solve their problems ? Often parents do not consider it necessary to give children any information about coupling. By thinking that they too had not told anything about it by their parents. So did it affect their life? Then today the era has become so advanced that even before age children know everything. Then what is the need to explain something separately? But often this thinking of ours, proves to be harmful for children.
Whether or not to educate to our children, they get many such incomplete and provocative related information from pornographic magazines, TV, movies, internet, even toilet walls, which mislead them. Are enough for child fickle mind starts to fret over various types of experiments about without seeing the immaturity of the body and in many cases they achieve it, and the result ahead ? Many physical-mental illnesses, self-aggrandizement, remorse and studies, career losses are different. But our irony is that despite living in the jet age of 21st century, we are still not able to decide whether or not to give educate children and when and how ? Whereas now the time has come that beyond such education or not, we should think about how and at what age to educate to children. Mainly Sexologist are pointing the criteria and right way to give proper education to children.
Understand child phycology
Starting from initial stage, children’s are also with common mentality and line of thought like us and mainly human’s have feeling, and few survey as well as research say’s that few feelings are present in the child from birth and they are also eager to know all about the parts in humans body, which is absolutely normal. But most of the parents do not pay attention to this and also do not give proper guidance to their children. Many times it also happens that we start arousing curiosity in our child‘s delicate mind right from childhood. When the child is born, they does not know anything about the world, even about their own body.
In such a situation, whenever a child hands towards private parts like other organs or comes undressed in front of others, parents immediately reprimand them. At that time, the innocence does not realize their mistake, but in the opposite mind, curiosity starts to wake up, why is it forbidden to touch this part of my body. So to avoid scolding of parents, child starts touching their private parts privately and the parents do not even aware about. Therefore, parents should not scold children with their normal actions, their behavior may also change over time. When talking to children on sensitive issues like sex, take special care of their age and understanding. According to the age and understanding of the child, give him information related to sex. It is not necessary that you give complete information about sex to the child, but you can tell them all things by making them aware.
Human body parts explanation at different age slabs
Physical and mental changes occur when children grow up. It is often seen that children do not understand these changes and remain in a dilemma. Therefore, children should talk about these changes and parents should explain them. Awareness should be given about the meaning of these physical and mental changes.
Due to the lack of information related to sexology , children resort to porn videos. If you are aware of this then do not get angry with the child and explain it in a calm manner. Give him sex related information and tell him that the way to get information from internet is wrong.
What to guide further in different ages ? At around age of 3-4 years, explain them as the way all the brushes, towels etc. are completely private and individual also should not be used by anyone else, In the same way few part of your body is also completely private. Which you should not uncover in front of others. Also, tell that if anyone touches or rub limbs, they should arise objections tell parents/guardians immediately. By doing this, we will be able to inform the children about privacy of their private parts as well as protect them from child sexual abuse. During the age slab changes – mother can ask about that child should not even show private parts to them, so now you have to take bath yourself. In this way they will be able to know that their private parts are absolutely private, which no one has the right to see or touch.
While teaching about body parts we need to explain regarding safe-unsafe touch. Small children do not understand much about safe-unsafe touch, but it depends on the way parents explain them. Still, explain to children about the good touch and bad touch. Explain them in a simple way instead of answering their technical queries. Always keep in mind the age of children. While giving basic education to children, Parents need to provide accurate and complete information about fornicate to children above 14 years of age. When kids ask questions related to copulation, parents scold them, instead of being angry, respond lovingly. Parents shouldn’t ignore their questions and may not try to scold them. Keep friendly behavior while answering such queries, do try not deal with settlement.
Give time and build supportive bonding
It is often seen that children run towards the Internet world or talk to their friends about sex due to lack of support from parents. From where he takes half-incomplete information related to sex. It is not right for them. Therefore parents should give time to their children. Parents need to do communication also try for healthy discussion with friendly behavior and positive reactions . It is not that the curiosity of children will be calmed by knowing the names of the organs. Their questions also change according to the changes in the body with aging. Therefore, the phase of their questions and your solutions should be like an ongoing process. Explain with examples for better understanding because as your child grows up, he wants to know why his organs are different from those of opposite sex.” Generally, children above five years of age have a desire to know this. So at this age, tell them the difference between boy and girl with ordinary comparisons.
Friendly relationship with teenagers is important
Friendly relationship with teenagers is important When children turn 12-13, apart from parents, many people start making space in their world. You tell them or not, they start to know about the changes in their body. We feel comfortable asking our friends about their problems. While talking about teenagers, “Have a friendly relationship with them. Adolescent children should be given information about homosexuality, masturbation, periods etc. Don’t forget to tell them about safe sex and diseases like AIDS too.
Often, after the age of ten, children become very sensitive about changes and looks in their body. Many children try to learn about these changes directly or indirectly from their parents. On the other hand, there are also cases where children hesitate to talk about it. In such a situation, parents should take initiative on their behalf. It is very important to tell children about the hormonal changes in their body.” Especially mothers should tell their daughters about periods before the age of 12. Many mothers talk about periods in code word. They present it as shame or curse. They have to change their perspective. Tell the girls that this is a natural function of the female body. With such a learning, the girl will never feel embarrassed or guilty about it. Not only this, I believe that boys should also know about this.
In the early teens, boys also feel the excitement in their private parts. Exciting dreams or excitement in genitals is not an unnatural thing. If they ask you about this, then solve their questions. A good way can also be to inform them about this before they ask. As per the current society and behavioral the role of sex education in schools becomes important. It is good that parents give sex education to their children at home, but in India, such parents are very few.” In such a situation, making sex education mandatory in schools seems very important. It should be included in the eighth or ninth grade syllabus, as by this age (14–15 years), children have developed sufficient understanding.
Contend or dealing with temper tantrums wisely
Tantrums is a kind of anger outburst, it is a type of emotion that resides in one’s inner self. This is a kind of negative emotion that involves a lot of guilt, anger, jealousy etc. Due to anger, the particular’s positive thinking almost ends. Anger has been linked to liver in Chinese medicine. Whoever have liver disease, become agitated and irritable, but in today’s changing environment, the effect of this negative feeling is beginning to be more visible. An angriness loses the power to understand rightly. Many times, angriness and agitation responding react to do wrong things, and bad circumstances may raised, which has no way to repent.
Most parents believe/follow that whenever possible the best is to ignorance of the tantrums. While dealing With Temper Tantrums, parents need to concern about few measures as – When there’s nobody to observe – no need to perform many caution, though, that it’s important not to ignore the child, they ask themselves if they’re enforcing too-riding standards, holding too- high expectations, or not giving enough values, try not avoid the tantrum point preventing your child from becoming over tired or frustrated. In the public place, if your child suddenly starts crying and shouting, if you do not listen, any parent gets angry, but these tantrums of young children should be dealt with love.
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Temper tantrum causes
The reason for tantrums of children depends on their mental and emotional state, just like adults. The biggest problem with children is that they themselves do not understand the reason behind their tantrums. Because of which they are neither able to talk to you nor can they correct it. On the other hand, it is normal for children to show tantrums, during mental and emotional changes occur. However, it becomes a matter of concern when the tantrums of children increase or they start showing tantrums in everything. The reason for children’s tantrums are their hyper active, moody, inability to keep pace with new environment, physical problem, mental problem or their intensity.
Usually if the child is hungry, too tired, sick or feeling unconfirmed for some reason then he cries, shouts, raises his hand to kill, bites his teeth, or head bagging on the ground. He then tries to hold his breath and does not listen to anyone. Such behavior of a child can be annoying and frustrating for any parent. Especially when children behave like this in public place. If you are raising a child, then you will be well aware of children’s tantrums. Actually, raising children is not only a responsibility, but it also requires a lot of patience. Many times your child is stubborn, does not listen to you, gets angry, becomes irritable or starts crying. All these actions show tantrums of children. In such a situation, you may get worried or angry that how to deal with this situation? When children show tantrums, there are scenario’s like parents shouting at them or slapping them, which should not happen. This article, is fully embedded with types for tantrums of children and how to deal with them.
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How to deal with temper tantrums ?
Let your child scream to his heart’s content sometimes ( outdoor ) Everybody needs to let off steam occasionally. Ask your child to be in his room and stay there until the lost “happy Face” is found. Try to distract your child by doing or saying something unusual or silly. You might even stage your own mock tantrums and ask your child if you’re doing it right, or switch lights on/off rapidly – as attention distracted. Some parents say ( if you can do this without anger or hostility ) to slowly pour a glass of water over a child’s head for real drama! ( recommended only in the kitchen or bathroom.)
Tell your child firmly that the rule still stands (if discipline precipitated the tantrum), then ignore the tantrum. Disappear! If you’re in another room, you’ll feel better, and the tantrum will probably be short-lived. If your child follows you, move again. Pick up your child and gently shake the ”mads” in a fun way.
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Stop breath-holding by gently blowing into your child’s face, dashing a small amount of water on his face, or applying a cold washcloth. Don’t panic if your child starts to become cyanotic (turns blue or purple due to lack of oxygen in the blood). Fainting automatically stops breath-holding. Ask your child to go to his room and stay there until the lost ”happy face” is found. Disappear if you’re in another room, you’ll feel better, and the tantrum will probably be short-lived. If your child follows you, move again. When you’re away from home, escort your child calmly to the car or a restroom if a tantrum occurs. When the tantrum sub-sides, return to the business at hand if you can’t leave, simply let the tantrum continue, and grit your teeth.
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How to stop severe temper tantrums
- Hold your small child tightly while rocking and singing. Express your love in terms of increasing size. For example, “My love for you is as big as a flower…as big as a teacup….as big as a bush…” Try to get your child involved in thinking up bigger things.
- Whisper in your child’s ear. If you can think of something really good to whisper, your child’s moods may change altogether
- Tell your child there’s a smile inside, and if it’s not led out, it will turn into a giggle. (It often will.) Mimic your child exaggeratedly and say, “No laughing!” (Don’t forget to talk about the problem when the giggling is over.)
- Scold a piece of furniture or a toy that “causes” the trouble. You child will probably end up laughing.
- Lend your child a hug and kiss when things are going well; call in the loan when anger strikes. This gives your child a chance to express warmth and calm down so you can talk about the problem.
- Help your child calm down after a crying spree by taking deep breaths together. Pretend your child’s toes are candles that have to be blown out using deep breath.
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Temper tantrum management
Set a timer, and tell your child that the behavior must stop when the bell rings. Else, tell your child you are going to count to ten, then start counting out loud, Be prepared to enforce the consequences (like leaving the store) When you’re finished counting. Empty treats don’t work. Choose a time out location where your child remain there for a designated period of a time . [ many parents choose one minute for each year of age. ] this not only ends the behavior, it gives your child a chance to clam down and stop the momentum that may have gotten out of control.
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Be prepared to redirect your Child’s attention to a positive activity when the time out ends. Call out a funny magic phrase such as “un- gah- wah ” which is your family’s secret signal to stop whatever activity is going on. Use it in monodisciplinary situations. Occasionally, such as during a game, and be prepared to have used on you. praise your child for good self- control and good sense when the misbehavior stops.
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How to deal with a screaming toddler/children
Excessive tantrums (if a child tantrums more than five times a day and these tantrums last more than ten minutes on average) may indicate an underlying psychological problem. In such cases, it is important to first see if there is physical distress or illness and then try to seek professional psychological help. If left as such, these issues may later manifest as external problems (eg aggression) or internal problems (eg depression and anxiety). It is mandate to note that the behavior of boys usually consists of external problems or internal problems or both. In the girls’ behavior, on the other hand, no symptoms of external problems have been observed – either internal problems (sadness, anxiety, depression) or both problems are mixed.
Children, like adults, shouldn’t be required to hold anger in all the time. You may want to talk with your child about anger, including the words used to express it, and show your understanding. Encourage your child to vent anger physically by running around outdoors, by punching a big batch of play dough, or by hitting a tree with a stick. Teach your child to count to five in a loud, angry voice, to play an angry song on a musical instrument, or to dance an angry, Or shout something loudly with your child, and let your voices drop gradually until there’s silence. Have your child draw a picture of these angry feelings. Help your child deal with anger deal as by creating a Rage Rock. Pick out a rock together, paint it, then have your child squeeze it when angry. Keep it in a convenient location.
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Key features of best and successful parenting
As we all are aware about the initial increase in responsibilities arise when a couple becomes a parent. The responsibility of child rearing falls on the shoulder and since creation, there has been no parent who hasn’t taken proper care of their children. This quality automatically comes in the parents. The status of mother and father is really more than god.
Love is its mainstay, which helps children in their development. The couples never had any child nutrition training before having a child, but as they become parents ( have children), especially the mother, automatically owns quality, how to keep the children, how much milk to give, that unborn baby’s Mother understands all the requirement, in her silent language she finds meaning. Where did this quality come from, only love and attachment make able to raise child under any circumstances. Without any training towards the one we love, we carry out our full responsibility successfully.
Time and situation as well as circumstances also teaches a lot. A research and studies state that you can only nurture children, can’t give them ideas because of vary from generation to generation. Usually, when the child comes to the house, it is necessarily required to treat and tackle with love rather than planning for future carrier designation, If the child is properly cared for and given plenty of opportunity to understand the life-phrases and the world, then he will definitely become an important personality.
We try to fill it with our religious thoughts, morality and all such ideas, which we consider useful for ourselves and our society. With this, the child is not able to develop naturally and a grade is determined. His tendency to fly in the open sky that was naturally born to him will perish. Touch therapies in childhood plays an important role, if the child is with a relative, then at least 2 times a day, let your child move. If you can meet in the afternoon, then definitely meet. Generating a touch and attachment with your child is initial key features of best and successful parenting.
Keep an eye on children
There are some software that can be used for to keep an eye on children. It is very important to know what they are browsing. You should know the password of their email, periodically check the history. If the child is on other social platforms as Facebook, tweeter, Instagram, WhatsApp etc. Then join them on these platform to track and confirm about few other activities as who are in their friend list, what they are following, who are following them, chat groups they are involved in, post or quotes they sharing etc.
These easy access platforms help to understand their mind thoughts and level of grasping sense as well as evaluating status. By using this trick, parents can easily grab the root of children and able to do corrections (if required) and also rectify the mistakes timely.
Share good experiences
Parents should share the good experiences of their life with the children so that the children will be motivated to learn something. Besides, parents can also ask about their special experience with school and friends from their beloved kids. By this parents may get information about what is going on in your kid’s mind and what kind of friends they have.
Attention deficit hyper activity disorder
ADHD is a brain disease in which the child starts lying not only on big things but also on small things. This habit increases with time. However, many children struggling with this disease also have a habit of telling the truth. If the parents repeatedly ask the children suffering from this disease why they lied, they still do not speak the truth. About 1 crore children in India suffer from ADHD.
There are many reasons for this in children suffering from ADHD
- Not being able to differentiate between present and future.
- Thinking more, or remembering and fearing the consequences of anything.
- Thinking of controlling the situation after a lie.
- Many of these children do not think at the ground level.
Hope you will like this article based on children’s personality development, you must share it with your friends on social media.”In the all-round development of children
Consequences for lying child 2020
Consequences for lying child and proper resolutions – Do not lie to the child. If parents fight or debate among themselves. then most children have an impact. Child feels insecurity in themselves. It is not fully developed. Children whose development is healthy is a good development in child.
Situation during lack of parenting
Children lie, This is a truth which every parent has to accept. In this too, the biggest thing is that children are not encouraged to lie, but still this evil is brought home in them. This lying habit also makes parents very worried. An even greater concern is created when they lie repeatedly and for no reason. Due to this habit of children, many times parents stop trusting them and children are under suspicion. Once this lying cycle starts, it becomes very difficult to stop it. Before we get into the depth of how parents should deal with this situation, We need to know why children lie. There can be many reasons for this. In medical parlance, the habit of repeated lying in children can be caused by few types of disorder.
Certainty and illusions
They say that there are no powers of lies and that it hides lies, but for some time, there is a dependence on the fact that it is a lie because it can be hidden when it is lied to hide some small mistake, but when a person is deceived. If you are lied to give, then it does not hide for long. It is said that the age of lies is not much, But people stood on lies by making excuses to hide the truth, but the real joy comes when the person comes to know who is being lied to and that person even without knowing the lies of another person without any conversation.
See the extent of his lies by making excuses, the person who lies is realizing that the person we are lying is stupid but when the other person comes to know the truth and he sees the potential of the person lying. The person’s summons starts slowly destroying. One aspect of lies is that when we lie to a person and when we realize this, then before that realization, the other person would have left us to trust on and we surrendered. So that trust is not completely back ever.
Adapt Stubborn Children to Improve
Let’s know the tips to adapt stubborn (mulish) children to improve. It is said that parents are the first teacher of the child. The child’s most time passes along with his parents and in the childhood, whatever the child learns, he learns from his parents only. In this way, every parent wants that they give good care to their child and put a good ritual in them. Sometimes, when a child receives a complaint from the school and neighbours, people first raise their finger on the parents saying that the child’s parents have given the same rituals as the child is doing the same.
Although every parent gives good education to his child, but sometimes the child becomes very stubborn in nature and as soon as he is older, his temperament changes rapidly. If your child is mulish or you are seeing some different changes in his nature then know how to improve your child’s behaviour.
Be nice to behave
When the child does vomit-direct action, do not take away all your anger by knocking him or scolding him. At that time you may find it the most effective way to improve your child but it has a bad effect on the child. It is settled in his gentle mind that whenever he acts, he will be killed and he remains so stubborn. Therefore, be lovingly with your child.
Become a role model and be friendly
Take care of the child’s likes and dislikes. Take out some time to play with your child and try to gain some knowledge regarding the field of interest. This will keep the baby closer to you and whenever you insist on it, you can easily explain it.
Teach your child something new everyday. If you are very busy, then take time out for the child at the end of the week. Never let the child feel lonely. When you take care of him, the child will find himself close to you and if he/she learn something wrong then you can easily explain it. Surprise the child – Most children become more irritable due to some reason. Occasionally, due to lack of time with parents, they consider themselves to be more neglected in their home, due to which their behavior changes.
Try to appreciate for his/her good performance in the school. Sometime try to bring the things which they wants and try to take them out with you as for shopping, movie, park, dinner and walk etc. At every moment, let them realise that parents have eyesight on every activity. Always try not to miss the opportunity to compliment them.
Handling stubborn children is not an easy task, in which case if you do not find a solution quickly then even a small thing can become a big struggle every day. You must have learned a lot about how to control the behavior of a stubborn child, but every day is a new challenge. Disciplining a stubborn child may not be the best solution in all cases, finding an alternative solution to it may be more effective.
Psychology of stubborn children
If your child is very stubborn, first understand why he is so and what is the thing that is making him so stubborn. The determination of the child is a different matter and stubbornness is different. Determination is defined as ‘strong motive’ while being stubborn is ‘refusal to change thought, behavior and external pressure’. Persistence in children can be genetic or they can learn behaviour by observing others. This can be adapted to suit this behaviour in your child so that your child’s personality may be multifaceted in future.
Stubborn behaviour can occur at any age – Childhood, or adolescence and this behaviour can last until the age of an adult. It is important for you as a parent to handle your children in ways that do not put too much pressure on both of you and also help change his stubborn behaviour.
Way’s to Handle stubborn children
Keep the peaceful environment at home – Make sure that your home is a place where your child feels happy, comfortable and safe at all times. Be polite to everyone in the house, especially to your spouse because children learn by watching you. They imitate what they see, so it is necessary that you keep peace and do not use argumental and insulting words in front of the child.
Create and follow proper routine – Staying regular on a weekly routine with daily can improve your child’s behaviour as well as performance in school. Pay attention to the baby’s bedtime and it should be such that your child gets plenty of rest. Children between 3 and 12 years of age may have behavioral problems due to fatigue and lack of sleep.
Make your way of talking effective – If Stubborn children ask for something, it is difficult for them to hear ‘no’. So instead of being rude try to explain them with love. For example, if your child insists on listening to two stories at bedtime, give him the option to explain that he can hear a story today and a story he can hear tomorrow.
Set rules, penalties and rewards – Stubborn children need rules so set boundaries and clearly state your expectations in a family meeting. Ask your child its outcome as well as their perspective on each. Continuity is important, but there should be no rigidity at all. It is also important to be gentle and generous at times, especially when you are on vacation or on occasions when your child exhibits exemplary behavior. This shows them that following rules can be rewarded and its purpose is not harsh at all.
Assume practically before reacting – Try placing yourself at the child’s place Look at any problem from the child’s point of view and try to understand why he is behaving like this. If you have promised him that you will take him for a walk in the park but perhaps you have not done so due to bad weather, then you will have to try to explain to him why it is not possible to fulfill the promise. Your child will only see that you have broken the promise you made to him, but if you explain to him why you cannot go out and schedule another day to go out, then you can easily handle the situation.
Encourage positive behaviour – Set an example from your behaviour and demonstrate a positive attitude at all times. If you mostly use words like ‘no’, ‘can’t’, or ‘won’t’, your child is likely to do the same. Seeing the stubborn nature of your child from the point of view of improving his behavior rather than being negative and speaking randomly. You can play a game of questions to the child in which he can answer by saying yes or no to the answer. Formulate your questions in such a way that their answers are mostly ‘yes’. This gives the message that the child listened to you and accepted it.
Prioritise child a choice and value his selection – Asking the child what he wants to do can boost his stubbornness. Instead of doing this, you give him two options and give him the freedom to choose. With this, your child will feel his own right over his life and can take any decision he wants freely. If you want your child not to be confused then you limit your choices and ask him to choose only one of two or three options.
for example – If you want your child to clean his room himself, instead of asking him ‘where do you want to start?’, Ask your child to clean the bed or cupboard in the room first.
Make a good connection and bonding – Do not force the child to do what he does not want to do. By this the child can rebel against your words and he can insist on doing what he should not do. If you want your child to sit down doing his homework instead of watching TV, then try watching TV with the child for a while. This will bring a sense of friendship in relation to both of you and after a while you can ask him if he will do his homework now and you take a book near him and start reading or do some other work. He will start reading after seeing you.
Distract attention – There may be some situations in which you and your child do not agree with each other, for example a car seat. If the decision to go out does not align with your and your child’s wishes, distract them by telling them where you are going rather than how you are going. If this results in anger or resentment, then try to play the game in it too, by scheduling it or by involving other siblings as well.
Do not argue – Stubborn children are always ready for arguments so do not give them an opportunity. Always listen to your child comfortably and turn it into a conversation rather than an argument. When you show your child that you are ready to listen to his or her side, there is an increased chance that he / she will be ready to listen to you.