Natural consequences for lying child and resolutions 2020
Posted in Child caring essential

How to deal with a lying manipulative child

how to deal with a lying manipulative child
how to deal with a lying manipulative child

How to deal with a lying manipulative child

While saying about Natural consequences for lying child and resolutions or how to deal with a lying manipulative child – Do not lie to the child. If parents fight or debate among themselves. then most children have an impact. Child feels insecurity in themselves. It is not fully developed. Children whose development is healthy is a good development in child.

Situation during lack of parenting

Children lie, This is a truth which every parent has to accept. In this too, the biggest thing is that children are not encouraged to lie, but still this evil is brought in them. This lying habit also makes parents very worried.

An even greater concern is created when they lie repeatedly and for no reason. Due to this habit of children, many times parents stop trusting them and children are under suspicion. Once this lying cycle starts, it becomes very difficult to stop it.

Before we get into the depth of how parents should deal with this situation, We need to know why children lie. There can be many reasons for this. In medical parlance, the habit of repeated lying in children can be caused by few types of disorder.

Certainty and illusions

They say that there are no powers of lies and that it hides lies, but for some time, there is a dependence on the fact that it is a lie because it can be hidden when it is lied to hide some small mistake, but when a particular is deceived. If you are lied to give, then it does not hide for long.

It is said that the age of lies is not much, But few kids stood on lies by making excuses to hide the truth, but the real joy comes when comes to know who is being lied to and that even without knowing the lies of another one without any conversation.

Why Do Children Lie ? Understanding Child Behavior & How to Respond ?

See the extent of his lies by making excuses, the child who lies is realizing that the particular we are lying is stupid but when the other one comes to know the truth and he sees the potential of lying. They starts slowly destroying.

One aspect of lies is that, when we lie to someone and when we realize this, then before that realization, the other one would have left us to trust on and we surrendered. So that trust is not completely back ever.

Society has provided some moral norms to make the social system run in an orderly manner, in which a very important morality is related to speaking the truth.

Keeping in mind the human nature, it can be said that according to his convenience, one does not desist from lying, which gives him relief, but on a large scale other members have to pay the price, so there is a difference between them.

This proverb is popular and propagated that ‘there is no greater austerity (penance) than telling the truth and there is no greater sin than telling a lie’. Penance itself is a very difficult human activity, in which physical facilities have to be completely abandoned.

To completely give up physical comforts is a kind of ‘tapa’ and in the austerity of such tendency, speaking the truth is situated at the top, because to speak the truth means to put the facts as they are, without worrying about one’s own facilities, in the form as which they exist.

This does not correspond to human nature in general, because human is not only the creator of the social system himself, but also by nature a little greedy, lazy and hoarding. Keeping this in mind, it can be said that according to his facilities, he keeps on manipulating the reality.

How to Handle Your Child’s Lying at Every Age

If there is a habit of telling lies or twisting things, then far from winning trust, this one habit brings with you a thousand troubles. Pretending not to do homework, reading comics hidden in course books during exam days, exaggerating the price of a gadget, praising someone or posting anything on social media to get likes.

There is no end to the lies told every day. But why do we become liars? Painter, curator and associate professor says, ‘If someone tells a liar, we feel bad. But why does anyone become a liar? This is a very interesting topic. Actually, our biggest weakness is our desire to be loved and appreciated by others. For this people easily tell the biggest lie.

There may be remorse later, but it is in our nature to be a liar.’ It is this desire that weighs heavily. We also get stressed. You must have also noticed that after telling one lie, we have to tell many more lies about it. You also have to remember what was said last time, which lie should be adopted now to save that last lie.

Children’s childhood is very innocent. In such a situation, Tackle them in such ways :-

Do not punish for every mistake

Parents often prefer to punish their children to rectify every small mistake. However, this creates fear in children and children often start lying to hide their mistakes. Also, instead of punishing the children if they are caught lying, try to find out the reason for lying.

Appreciate them for telling the truth

If children are telling you everything truthfully by gathering courage when they make a mistake, then do not forget to praise them for speaking the truth. This will encourage children to tell the truth in future also and they will also reduce lying.
 

Support in trouble

Whenever children share their problems with you, instead of reprimanding them on their mistake, try to find a solution to the problem by sitting with them. With this, the children will not hesitate to ask for help by telling you the truth in every difficult time.

How to positively respond to a child’s defiance and lying ?

In the post-modern society changed by today’s fast song, the thinking of man has become limited only to himself. Morality has become for him only an object of preaching to others. He resorts to all kinds of deceit to benefit himself.

A very important feature under human behavior in daily life is related to speaking the truth, so that the social system and human relations can be continuously progressive, but at one time it is rare to imagine the incomparable sacrifice of King Harishchandra, who performed his truthfulness.

Such actual practice is now impossible

To brief in detailed, Let’s assume – ‘A’ is quite popular on social media. Whenever he puts a post related to his working, new movies or any new technology or information, there is a flurry of like-comments. But ‘B’, who is studying in his class, does not like ‘A’. He clearly says that he does not trust ‘A’ at all, because what he shows is not what he actually is.

As a moral – Even after having proof, we are not supposed to trust anyone completely and sometimes we trust someone in a hurry. Why does this happen? Responding to this question, renowned psychologist says, ‘Trust someone, but not by his words, but by his behavior or actions.

FAQ’s

Q1: How can I tell if my child is lying or being manipulative? A: Look for inconsistencies in their stories, changes in body language, and avoidance of eye contact. Trust your instincts and pay attention to patterns of behavior.

Q2: Why might a child resort to lying and manipulation? A: Children may lie or manipulate to avoid consequences, gain attention or control, seek approval, or protect themselves from perceived threats.

Q3: What should I do if I catch my child lying or manipulating? A: Stay calm and avoid reacting impulsively. Address the behavior calmly, and let your child know that honesty is important to you. Discuss the consequences of lying and encourage open communication.

Q4: How can I encourage honesty in my child? A: Create a safe and non-judgmental environment where your child feels comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings. Praise honesty and reinforce positive behaviors.

Q5: What if my child continues to lie or manipulate despite discussions? A: Consistently address the behavior and consequences. Seek professional guidance from a therapist or counselor to understand underlying issues and develop strategies for improvement.

Q6: Are there any red flags that indicate a deeper problem? A: If lying and manipulation become frequent and excessive, and if your child’s behavior affects their relationships or school performance, consider seeking professional help.

Q7: How can I teach my child about the importance of trust and integrity? A: Lead by example and demonstrate honesty in your own actions. Have conversations about trust, integrity, and the impact of lying on relationships and self-esteem.

Q8: Could there be underlying issues causing my child’s behavior? A: Yes, certain factors like anxiety, low self-esteem, or past experiences might contribute to lying and manipulation. A professional can help identify and address these issues.

Q9: Should I confront my child about past lies, or focus on moving forward? A: While it’s important to address past lies, focus on the present and future. Encourage positive change and offer support in building better habits.

Q10: How can I set appropriate consequences for lying and manipulation? A: Consequences should be fair, age-appropriate, and related to the behavior. Ensure they understand the link between their actions and the consequences.

Q11: Is it okay to express disappointment in my child’s behavior? A: It’s natural to feel disappointed, but try to avoid excessive shaming or guilt-tripping. Express your feelings calmly and emphasize your belief in their ability to change.

Q12: Can family therapy be helpful in dealing with lying and manipulation? A: Yes, family therapy can provide a safe space to address issues, improve communication, and strengthen relationships within the family.

Remember, the goal is to teach children the importance of honesty and integrity while maintaining a loving and supportive parent-child relationship. Focus on positive reinforcement, open communication, and fostering trust with your child as you address and resolve lying behavior. Patience, empathy, and consistent guidance are essential in helping a lying and manipulative child develop more positive and honest behavior. Professional support can be beneficial in understanding and addressing the underlying causes of the behavior.

Adapt Stubborn Children to Improve
Posted in Child caring essential

Adapt Stubborn Children to Improve

Adapt Stubborn Children to Improve
Adapt Stubborn Children to Improve

Adapt Stubborn Children to Improve

Let’s know the tips to adapt stubborn (mulish) children to improve. It is said that parents are the first teacher of the child. The child’s most time passes along with his parents and in the childhood, whatever the child learns, he learns from his parents only.

In this way, every parent wants that they give good care to their child and put a good ritual in them. Sometimes, when a child receives a complaint from the school and neighbors, people first raise their finger on the parents saying that the child’s parents have given the same rituals as the child is doing the same.

Although every parent gives good education to his child, but sometimes the child becomes very stubborn in nature and as soon as he is older, his temperament changes rapidly. If your child is mulish or you are seeing some different changes in his nature then know how to improve your child’s behavior.

Adapt stubborn (mulish) children to improve

Kinds of stubborn child

Children who have a habit of stubbornness, they repeatedly ask questions about everything, they are very intelligent and creative. They need that everyone listen to them and pay attention to them, they are very self-reliant. They can throw tantrums again and again and they like to lead and they try to bully others.

Do’s and Don’t with stubborn child –

Do’s

Be nice to behave

When the child does vomit-direct action, do not take away all your anger by knocking him or scolding him. At that time you may find it the most effective way to improve your child but it has a bad effect on the child. It is settled in his gentle mind that whenever he react, he will be punished and he remains too stubborn. Therefore, be lovingly with your child. 

Become a role model and be friendly

Take care of the child’s likes and dislikes. Take out some time to play with your child and try to gain some knowledge regarding the field of interest. This will keep the baby closer to you and whenever you insist on it, you can easily explain it.

Teach your child something new everyday. If you are very busy, then take time out for the child at the end of the week. Never let the child feel lonely. When you take care of him, the child will find himself close to you and if he/she learn something wrong then you can easily explain it.

Surprise the child

Most children become more irritable due to some reason. Occasionally, due to lack of time with parents, they consider themselves to be more neglected in their home, due to which their behavior changes.

Try to appreciate for his/her good performance in the school.

Sometime try to bring the things which they wants and try to take them out with you as for shopping, movie, park, dinner and walk etc. At every moment, let them realize that parents have eyesight on every activity. Always try not to miss the opportunity to compliment them.

Handling stubborn children is not an easy task, in which case if you do not find a solution quickly then even a small thing can become a big struggle every day. You must have learned a lot about how to control the behavior of a stubborn child, but every day is a new challenge.

Disciplining a stubborn child may not be the best solution in all cases, finding an alternative solution to it may be more effective.

Don’t 

Avoid Arguing

Stubborn kids are always ready to argue so you don’t have to give them this opportunity. Instead listen to your child. When you start listening to him, he will also try to pay attention to you.

Don’t Shout

It is very important for parents that they should not shout at their children and if the children are stubborn then they should not do so at all. Your kids won’t make too much noise when you’re calm and you’ll be able to tell them the difference between right and wrong.

Psychology of stubborn children

If your child is very stubborn, first understand why he is so and what is the thing that is making him so stubborn. The determination of the child is a different matter and stubbornness is different. Determination is defined as ‘strong motive’ while being stubborn is ‘refusal to change thought, behavior and external pressure‘.

Persistence in children can be genetic or they can learn behavior by observing others. This can be adapted to suit this behavior in your child so that your child’s personality may be multifaceted in future.

Stubborn behavior can occur at any age – Childhood, or adolescence and this behavior can last until the age of an adult. It is important for you as a parent to handle your children in ways that do not put too much pressure on both of you and also help change his stubborn behavior.

Way’s to Handle stubborn children

Keep the peaceful environment at home

Make sure that your home is a place where your child feels happy, comfortable and safe at all times. Be polite to everyone in the house, especially to your spouse because children learn by watching you. They imitate what they see, so it is necessary that you keep peace and do not use argument and insulting words in front of the child.

Create and follow proper routine 

Staying regular on a weekly routine with daily can improve your child’s behavior as well as performance in school. Pay attention to the baby’s bedtime and it should be such that your child gets plenty of rest. Children between 3 and 12 years of age may have behavioral problems due to fatigue and lack of sleep.

Make your way of talking effective 

If Stubborn children ask for something, it is difficult for them to hear ‘no’. So instead of being rude try to explain them with love. For example, if your child insists on listening to two stories at bedtime, give him the option to explain that he can hear a story today and a story he can hear tomorrow.

Set rules, penalties and rewards 

Stubborn children need rules so set boundaries and clearly state your expectations in a family meeting. Ask your child its outcome as well as their perspective on each. Continuity is important, but there should be no rigidity at all.

It is also important to be gentle and generous at times, especially when you are on vacation or on occasions, when your child exhibits exemplary behavior. This shows them that following rules can be rewarded and its purpose is not harsh at all.

Assume practically before reacting –

Try placing yourself at the child’s place Look at any problem from the child’s point of view and try to understand why he is behaving like this. If you have promised him that you will take him for a walk in the park but perhaps you have not done so due to bad weather, then you will have to try to explain to him why it is not possible to fulfill the promise.

Your child will only see that you have broken the promise you made to him, but if you explain to him why you cannot go out and schedule another day to go out, then you can easily handle the situation.

Encourage positive behavior

Set an example from your behavior and demonstrate a positive attitude at all times. If you mostly use words like ‘no’, ‘can’t’, or ‘won’t’, your child is likely to do the same. Seeing the stubborn nature of your child from the point of view of improving his behavior rather than being negative and speaking randomly.

You can play a game of questions to the child in which he can answer by saying yes or no to the answer. Formulate your questions in such a way that their answers are mostly ‘yes’. This gives the message that the child listened to you and accepted it.

Prioritize child a choice and value his selection 

Asking the child what he wants to do can boost his stubbornness. Instead of doing this, you give him two options and give him the freedom to choose.

With this, your child will feel his own right over his life and can take any decision he wants freely. If you want your child not to be confused then you limit your choices and ask him to choose only one of two or three options.

For example – If you want your child to clean his room himself, instead of asking him ‘where do you want to start?’, Ask your child to clean the bed or cupboard in the room first.

Make a good connection and bonding 

Do not force the child to do what he does not want to do. By this the child can rebel against your words and he can insist on doing what he should not do. If you want your child to sit down doing his homework instead of watching TV, then try watching TV with the child for a while.

This will bring a sense of friendship in relation to both of you and after a while you can ask him if he will do his homework now and you take a book near him and start reading or do some other work. He will start reading after seeing you.

Distract attention –

There may be some situations in which you and your child do not agree with each other, for example a car seat. If the decision to go out does not align with you and your child’s wishes.

Distract them by telling them where you are going rather than how you are going. If this results in anger or resentment, then try to play the game in it too, by scheduling it or by involving other siblings as well.

Do not argue –

Stubborn children are always ready for arguments so do not give them an opportunity. Always listen to your child comfortably and turn it into a conversation rather than an argument. When you show your child that you are ready to listen to his or her side, there is an increased chance that he / she will be ready to listen to you.

Understand your Children’s mind

Sometimes children insist on getting attention from their parents. Maybe something is bothering your child and he doesn’t know how to talk to you. Here you should understand the actions of your children by seeing them. Sit quietly and talk to your child.

It is not that much wrong for small child to be stubborn, but it is wrong to insist on more to talk. This will have a bad effect on the future of the child as well. As day by day passed away, this habit will be included in his behavior. Further the child will become habitual.

To avoid this, parents should try to improve this habit in time. Getting the right lessons at the right time can shape your child’s future and make him a good person.

 

Don’t Shout

It is very important for parents that they should not shout at their children and if the children are stubborn then they should not do so at all. Your kids won’t make too much noise when you’re calm and you’ll be able to tell them the difference between right and wrong.
 

Psychology of stubborn children

If your child is very stubborn, first understand why he is so and what is the thing that is making him so stubborn. The determination of the child is a different matter and stubbornness is different. Determination is defined as ‘strong motive’ while being stubborn is ‘refusal to change thought, behavior and external pressure‘.

Persistence in children can be genetic or they can learn behavior by observing others. This can be adapted to suit this behavior in your child so that your child’s personality may be multifaceted in future.

Stubborn behavior can occur at any age – Childhood, or adolescence and this behavior can last until the age of an adult. It is important for you as a parent to handle your children in ways that do not put too much pressure on both of you and also help change his stubborn behavior.

Way’s to Handle stubborn children

Keep the peaceful environment at home

Make sure that your home is a place where your child feels happy, comfortable and safe at all times. Be polite to everyone in the house, especially to your spouse because children learn by watching you. They imitate what they see, so it is necessary that you keep peace and do not use argument and insulting words in front of the child.

Create and follow proper routine 

Staying regular on a weekly routine with daily can improve your child’s behavior as well as performance in school. Pay attention to the baby’s bedtime and it should be such that your child gets plenty of rest. Children between 3 and 12 years of age may have behavioral problems due to fatigue and lack of sleep.

Make your way of talking effective 

If Stubborn children ask for something, it is difficult for them to hear ‘no’. So instead of being rude try to explain them with love. For example, if your child insists on listening to two stories at bedtime, give him the option to explain that he can hear a story today and a story he can hear tomorrow.

Set rules, penalties and rewards 

Stubborn children need rules so set boundaries and clearly state your expectations in a family meeting. Ask your child its outcome as well as their perspective on each. Continuity is important, but there should be no rigidity at all.

It is also important to be gentle and generous at times, especially when you are on vacation or on occasions, when your child exhibits exemplary behavior. This shows them that following rules can be rewarded and its purpose is not harsh at all.

Assume practically before reacting

Try placing yourself at the child’s place Look at any problem from the child’s point of view and try to understand why he is behaving like this. If you have promised him that you will take him for a walk in the park but perhaps you have not done so due to bad weather, then you will have to try to explain to him why it is not possible to fulfill the promise.

Your child will only see that you have broken the promise you made to him, but if you explain to him why you cannot go out and schedule another day to go out, then you can easily handle the situation.

Encourage positive behavior

Set an example from your behavior and demonstrate a positive attitude at all times. If you mostly use words like ‘no’, ‘can’t’, or ‘won’t’, your child is likely to do the same. Seeing the stubborn nature of your child from the point of view of improving his behavior rather than being negative and speaking randomly.

You can play a game of questions to the child in which he can answer by saying yes or no to the answer. Formulate your questions in such a way that their answers are mostly ‘yes’. This gives the message that the child listened to you and accepted it.

Prioritize child a choice and value his selection 

Asking the child what he wants to do can boost his stubbornness. Instead of doing this, you give him two options and give him the freedom to choose.

With this, your child will feel his own right over his life and can take any decision he wants freely. If you want your child not to be confused then you limit your choices and ask him to choose only one of two or three options.

For example – If you want your child to clean his room himself, instead of asking him ‘where do you want to start?’, Ask your child to clean the bed or cupboard in the room first.

Make a good connection and bonding 

Do not force the child to do what he does not want to do. By this the child can rebel against your words and he can insist on doing what he should not do. If you want your child to sit down doing his homework instead of watching TV, then try watching TV with the child for a while.

This will bring a sense of friendship in relation to both of you and after a while you can ask him if he will do his homework now and you take a book near him and start reading or do some other work. He will start reading after seeing you.

Distract attention

There may be some situations in which you and your child do not agree with each other, for example a car seat. If the decision to go out does not align with you and your child’s wishes.

Distract them by telling them where you are going rather than how you are going. If this results in anger or resentment, then try to play the game in it too, by scheduling it or by involving other siblings as well.

Do not argue

Stubborn children are always ready for arguments so do not give them an opportunity. Always listen to your child comfortably and turn it into a conversation rather than an argument. When you show your child that you are ready to listen to his or her side, there is an increased chance that he / she will be ready to listen to you.

Understand your Children’s mind

Sometimes children insist on getting attention from their parents. Maybe something is bothering your child and he doesn’t know how to talk to you. Here you should understand the actions of your children by seeing them. Sit quietly and talk to your child.
 
It is not that much wrong for small child to be stubborn, but it is wrong to insist on more to talk. This will have a bad effect on the future of the child as well. As day by day passed away, this habit will be included in his behavior. Further the child will become habitual.
 
To avoid this, parents should try to improve this habit in time. Getting the right lessons at the right time can shape your child’s future and make him a good person.
 
 
 

Resilience, Flexibility, Adaptability, Parenting strategies, Understanding stubbornness, Effective communication, Patience, Empathy, Positive reinforcement, Setting boundaries, Problem-solving skills, Emotional intelligence, Encouragement, Consistency, Role modeling, Open-mindedness, Growth mindset, Creative solutions, Supportive environment,